Square Eyes

The idea for this thread came from Sutti really, but she insisted I start it, so here goes!

Basically, which movie synopses were enough to put you of a film or films for life? Here's a good example I stumbled across on the back of an old video today:

Special People (starring Brooke Adams and Liberace)

In the true story of the "Famous People Players", Brooke Adams plays Diane Dupuy, a remarkable woman whose dream becomes a reality when she successfully combines her two interests, the mentally handicapped and puppetry.

I know, I know, you're all rushing to see if it's available on DVD, aren't you?!

This terrible synopsis has inspired me in one way though: I'm going to update my interests in my Square Eyes profile now

Has anyone else got any further examples of similarly naff film descriptions?

Run for the hills!

Point Last Seen
Based on a true story, this chronicles the courage of a search-and-rescue team leader who masters her own fears and concerns to find a child lost in the desert. Her inner turmoil stems from the fact that her potentially dangerous ex-husband has abducted her own children. The searcher's only clues come from the child's shoes.

Hell Comes To Frogtown (I know, I know, it sounded so great!)
'Hell' is the name of the hero of the story. He's a prisoner of the women who now run the USA after a nuclear/biological war. Results of the war are that mutants have evolved, and the human race is in danger of extinction due to infertility. Hell is given the task of helping in the rescue of a group of fertile women from the harem of the mutant leader (resembling a frog). Hell cannot escape since he has a bomb attached to his private parts which will detonate if he strays more than a few hundred yards from his guard.

Sutti's big hair wrote: Hell Comes To Frogtown (I know, I know, it sounded so great!)
'Hell' is the name of the hero of the story. He's a prisoner of the women who now run the USA after a nuclear/biological war. Results of the war are that mutants have evolved, and the human race is in danger of extinction due to infertility. Hell is given the task of helping in the rescue of a group of fertile women from the harem of the mutant leader (resembling a frog). Hell cannot escape since he has a bomb attached to his private parts which will detonate if he strays more than a few hundred yards from his guard.

Oh that did make me laugh!

If I can just bend the rules slightly to incorporate a TV programme, here's a synopsis for a series which started on T4 this very lunchtime:

Vanity Lair

Reality show which sees a group of self-styled 'beautiful people' moving into a luxury mansion, from which they will be evicted based on their attractiveness.

Possibly the worst idea for a TV show ever? (actually, it takes me back to the days of the old "Ideas for terrible TV programmes" thread on a now deleted forum. But those were deliberately terrible ideas!)

I seem to recall this summary of a movie, can you work out its title?

"A girl falls into a surreal land, kills the first person she meets, teams up with some other ne'r do wells to kill again."

Geffers wrote:I seem to recall this summary of a movie, can you work out its title?

"A girl falls into a surreal land, kills the first person she meets, teams up with some other ne'r do wells to kill again."

Erm... Alice In Wonderland?

Close... Wizard of Oz!

Good one, Geffers!


Tonight I suddenly remembered a film called Ulee's Gold, which stars Peter Fonda. Here's the synopsis:

A solitary beekeeper must look after his grandchildren and deal with his estranged, drug-addict daughter-in-law and two thugs who want money his convict son has hidden.